Life is Now in Session
June 10, 2019 ~ It was a goal of mine always to say "yes" because I thought life was about giving back no matter what.
It does feel good to give, and I genuinely enjoyed the many times I have been involved in charities, numerous events, work projects, school projects, helping family and friends, and so on.
However, in the past, I would forget about myself and that I had needs. I would fail to fill up my tank, and then I would empty and lose my 'giving' drain stopper. It seemed that whatever I did to help myself, I couldn't fill back up. And sometimes it almost felt as if I was disappearing.
Don't get me wrong, I haven't always been just a giver, as I have received much love and support throughout the years, but didn't realize until recently that sharing is the cornerstone of giving and receiving and they need to go hand-in-hand.
It wasn't until I paused - I was forced to pause. My heart decided it was time for me to take a long look at myself because it stopped working correctly. It started out beating like a ping-pong ball, causing constant exhaustion, leading me to have a TIA. My body was no longer screaming at me; it was shutting down.
That's when I truly began to pause, meditate, research various modalities, began writing daily and reflecting on life — reflecting being the key.
Reflecting on...
-my past experiences
-lessons that I skipped over
-what I now know to be my intuitive messages that flood my consciousness
-the present
-abandoned and lost relationships
-what my fears are that cause anxiety
-missteps
-moments of pure joy
-my empathic nature and how I can embrace this to brighten my future
-how I can change my reactions
-how I feel about death
-releasing relationships that no longer serve me
-intentions
-my parenting style
-how I treat my body
-how I treat my mind
-how I treat my soul
-my creativity
-being present
-releasing expectations
-letting go of other's "shoulds"
Over the years, I've experienced major shifts. Some intended, some I was blindsided with, but my most recent one has forever altered my reflections.
It was a time when my intuition was screaming at me to react one way, but my ego was so confused by the situation because the experience was so unexpected and uncomfortable that the good, bad and ugly filled a moment in an instant.
It is these times when I want to run away, yet I have a hard time letting go. But now by pausing and reflecting on these pinnacle points have brought me the most clarity. I'm now thankful that I have woken myself up to absorb yet another layer of authenticity.
I'm grateful that I'm climbing the mountain of lessons and can reach some peaks and peer out over the valleys of wisdom collected.
I'm honest in my journey and trying to dodge others’ "shoulds".
I love myself for opening my mind, body, and soul to my gifts and realizing that each day is just that - another day to be - love, grateful, kind, honest, and patient.
Life is now in session.
©️2019 Alison Schuh Hawsey
