Go through an entire day with no “Should Shields,” either giving or receiving. Describe the experience of the day and how did it make you feel?

It sounds easier said than done. Here are some examples of Should Shields (SS):

• SS that you might give yourself:

  • Stop eating that cookie, or else you’ll get fat and what will everyone think if I keep gaining weight.

  • Shift thought to - one cookie isn’t going to kill me, but maybe I’ll have an apple or a glass of water instead and save it for dessert. It’s my body, and I’m going to show it some love.

• SS that we might give to our kids:

  • It would help if you did exactly what I say when I say it, the way I want it done.

  • Shift the thought to - you know your brain is only 9 (or whatever age) years old, maybe you can’t read my mind, you learn differently than I do, and maybe I need to make sure you understand what I need so that you can succeed and I won’t keep getting frustrated. Parenting becomes much more comfortable - I can guarantee that your kids are putting up a “Should Shield” that says - my parents don’t understand me because they never listen to me. Kids listen when parents listen.

• SS that you might feel from someone:

  • I know they think I shouldn’t do this because it makes them feel uncomfortable, so maybe I should listen to the list of adverse outcomes that they have compiled of what might happen.

  • Shift the thought to - I can no longer live by the list of others' negative illusions, even though I know they mean well. I might be scared to try this, but it is my life, and only I’m in charge of my life, so I’m going to do and lead with positive intentions for a fantastic outcome. Because after all, there could be a surprise around the corner.

These are very generic, but I hope you get the idea of what I’m describing.

Only you can do the best you.

Happy writing.